I haven't been writing as much as I would like to have been. If your wondering why? Well my dad this year has had a rough time fighting with his diabetes. In January he had a huge wound on his leg that almost cost him his leg. He spent some time in the hospital and got better and his wound recently closed up all the way with lots of care.
Then more recently a wound he had on his foot was looking ugly and finally with enough of nagging my dad came to his senses and off we went to the hospital. Turns out his foot wound already had an infection in the bone and he would need surgery and care to save his foot. This wouldn't be his first foot surgery. Not even 2 yrs before he had a partial amputation of his feet, on one a pinky toe and on the other just a partial side. The situation this time was spooky since both the leg wound and foot wound were on his left side and that's a lot for a body to handle. So this week was mostly spent in the hospital. He had a good surgery and now he is home where he is healing, resting and off his feet.
Well it doesn't end there though... this week has been a tough one mentally for me. It makes me sad and hurt inside and worries me in ways I cant even write. While all the worries of my father were happening I would take breaks and look at the tv in the waiting room and the images in front of my eyes only brought more tears. When the tv should have been a distraction it only brought more worry and fear. Our country was in mourning and my heart couldn't stand it anymore. Inside me there was too much pain...
I cant get the thought out of my mind... What if I get diabetes? (The doctor told me having one parent with diabetes ups your risk to 40%) The fear of my life taking that path has been like a dark shadow on me this week. Is this my future? How could I put my child through what Im going through right now with my dad? Its all too much. Its a struggle. Its even been the reason of a nightmare this week that woke me up screaming at the top of my lungs.
So I know I should be sharing pictures of my week but guess what? I have no pictures of my sadness, of the hospital of my dad or my fears. I only have my words to share and I hope thats enough for now.
Sorry to be a dark cloud but all this is stirring in me and for fear of exploding one day from holding it all in I share it here. I need suggestions/advice/tips/recipes/links anything you can think of to help me and my family with our journey with my dads diabetes. Thank you guys in advance